Written by Sarah Trombley
That’s me–this is my love language without a doubt.
I need … I crave kind words, and that’s great, we all need an encouraging word, but there’s an ugly side of the affirmation game, and it’s called validation.
I don’t just need affirmation, I need validation. I need to know I am liked, valued and essential. It seems to me that I’m not the only one. Our culture’s obsession with social media reveals this desire. Don’t get me wrong, I love socials, but this drive for followers, likes, and influence all stem from our need to feel validated.
The problem is unless we are being validated and affirmed by Christ, it’s a trap!Tweet
You see these days just about everyone is searching for validation. Like me, they search for it in titles, people, and likes on Instagram. We even subconsciously value people based on their followers on socials.
It’s like one giant high school popularity contest.Tweet
At times I can feel small and insignificant.
I’m the stay at home mom,
who didn’t finish college
and often gets written off as a ditz.
I want to be respected, noticed, and heard, which isn’t bad, but sometimes I also find myself wanting to be envied.Tweet
As I’ve recognized this in myself and in the culture, I’ve learned the importance of checking my motivation. I need to evaluate whether I am trying to build up myself or build a kingdom for Christ. I need to check who affirms me, who validates me.
Kind words from family, friends, and strangers aren’t the problem. In fact, we could all use a few more words of affirmation, but my worth and value are determined by Christ. He respects me, notices me, and hears me. He loves me and is proud to call me His own, and that is enough!
For more on this and other identity issues check out my husband’s book.